So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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