bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
