Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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