so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
