We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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