do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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