My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It's like God shit irony all over that family
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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