I will die if light touches me.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize