what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
