I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
