I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
