just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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