jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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