Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
