Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
