My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
