Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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