In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
