I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
