Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My penis needs a shock collar
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
