At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
