Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize