Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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