There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
