Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
