bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
