I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize