Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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