I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
