I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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