the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
