I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
