My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
