Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
