if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
