have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
