that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
