Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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