no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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