She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
