If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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