I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
