Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize