Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How naked do you want me to be?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
