dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
