i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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