Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
