Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
