i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
