what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
there was a trapeze. enough said
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize