Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
