They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
