it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
