I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
