What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
