i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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