is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
