there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
