How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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