i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize