marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
