You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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