And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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