i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize