yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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