operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
