What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize