If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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