yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
