Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
