why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
