So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
